She's Already Gone...

Talking with a friend recently, he told me about reading "A Book of Five Rings". He said it's written by some samurai who won a whole lot of sword fights or something. It sounds cool. I want to read it. For now, I'll just comment on what my friend told me.

Apparently, this samurai would go into every battle believing "I'm already dead."

Thus, he was completely detached from outcome. Completely unattached to getting anything or winning anything. He knew that death was inevitable eventually, and so he fought with no fear of death.

It reminded me of a poster my step mom has in her kitchen. She hangs it behind her favorite wine glasses, and it reads:
"I know this glass is already broken, so I enjoy it incredibly.'" (an old Buddhist quote)

So, what am I saying? Samurai? Buddhists?

Well, try this out...

"I know this woman is already gone from my life, so I enjoy her incredibly."

I know I'm already dead.

When you meet a woman who turns you on. Feel your desire. Feel the passion. Feel your love for women and especially your love for that special one that really catches your eye. And feel that she is already gone, and you have nothing to hold onto. All you have is the moment.  Enjoy it.

That's what I've been meditating on lately, so I thought I'd share.

The "Wake Up!" of Break Ups

I just came across a question on the PickUp Lounge asking about the best way to break up with a woman. It's a question I've heard a lot, but it also seems to get downplayed. Guys are more preoccupied with getting women in bed, than what to do next.

Here is a summary of my thoughts:

If a relationship is good, then for most people the breakup will be equally painful. As my buddy Hristiyan has put it, "love and pain are inseparable."

You don't need to suffer the emotions, you don't need to be a victim of drama. But, you also don't want to fall into the typically male trap of trying to shut down your emotions and be lifeless inside.  For most people, breaking up will always bring up emotions, some of which you may not want to deal with.

But, perhaps... a breakup is a wonderful opportunity (yes, hear me out)... a wonderful opportunity for both you and her to deal with the reality of life. Part of life is loss and change. Not a moment goes by where we do not face the ever changing nature of life.

If we think of a relationship or a breakup as part of the natural world of change- we could think of it like a hurricane.Emotions swirl like wild winds, while life itself must go on.

Women will naturally have a million emotions come up for them as you are breaking up. At some points they may be furious with you, at some points very seductive, some points almost non-existent and non-communicative, and on and on... They are fully embodying the emotions of the moment. There is nothing wrong with this, and you can appreciate your woman's humanity in this moment.