Grattitude for My Mentors

Recently, I've had people ask me about my own history and how I got into all of this. I've written many posts along the way, but I've never summarized it all in one place. So, step on the time machine with me as we go back through the last four years of my life. It all started January 2004...

I have always been a huge supporter of the pickup community (even through the many times when my friends may not have agreed). I LOVE the fact that men are helping other men to improve their lives. I LOVE the men's culture and the sheer fact that shy guys, nice guys, awkward guys, and all sorts of men are taking action to go after what they want.

My introduction to it all was a David DeAngelo newsletter (which somehow ended up on my computer). It changed my life. Within 2 months, my entire paradigm on women and dating had done a 180. I saw everything in a completely new way, and I felt liberated to begin making up for a lot of lost time.

I then tried out Ross Jeffries' Speed Seduction and began actually applying the techniques with real women. I creeped out a bunch of those women, and I had fun with some others.  I'm grateful for their patience with me.  It was a huge time of personal transformation, and although I wasn't having sex with any of them, I was really inspired, and my confidence began to improve dramatically.

Then, I found a website called fastseduction.com. This was the next big shift. On this discussion forum, the community put emphasis on: "Field Work, Field Work, Field Work." That is, theory wasn't nearly as important as being in the real world, talking to real women!  Some of the posts from a member named TylerDurden were the most inspiring to actually get me out where the women are.

I started reading through the Maniac_High and Tokyo_PUA archives (as they were living in Japan and I was living in Korea at the time). I plowed through those old posts (many of which were inspired by and extensions of Speed Seduction), and continued to find DRAMATIC improvements in my relating with women, my confidence, and my life in general.

I also continued to skim through posts by Juggler, Gunwitch, TylerDurden, MrNYC4U, Toecutter and some of the other fastseduction posters. ALL of which I loved. I ATE it up.

That discussion board may sound creepy to outsiders of the community, but for me, it gave me a new perspective, solid support, and best of all it was free.

When I started really applying the "Field Work" mentality, I started seeing results.  It should be obvious... the work you do to challenge your comfort zone with real life encounters will be the best learning experiences.

Up to this point, I hadn't had sex in a year and a half.  Then, within 5 weeks I was dating 6 women!

Who's In Your Tribe?

I've always enjoyed taking a look at social dynamics from a tribal point of view. 6.6 Billion People on one planet. One really big tribe?

I walk into a bar. Who are these people? Who are they sitting in their little groups, drinking their spirits, claiming their territory?

Is it a tribal gathering at the local watering hole? In fact, it often seems much different.

I remember when I first stepped foot into a bar, it looked much different. It looked like one big tribe that I wasn't a part of. I saw it as one group of people, and I was outside of it. There were the tribal leaders who looked intimidating, the hot fertile women of the tribe (who also looked intimidating), and a certain culture of the tribe - which I didn't understand.

As I grew more comfortable and really began to look around, I saw it differently again. I began to see a meeting of the tribes. Each tribe stakes territory in one area of the bar. Sometimes a tribe will find out that they know someone from another tribe, and the two will merge together. Sometimes the leader of one tribe will fight the leader of another.

And, then there were the rebels. The ones who look beyond the tribal boundaries and would talk to anyone. Daring and bold, they sought out to merge the tribes (or maybe simply to steal women from the tribe of another)

But, I continued to grow, and I moved past even this. In fact, I ended up in much the same place as where I started. I began to see it once again as a single tribe.

Letting Go - Earth, Air, Fire, Water

Our Ancestors knew what it took to grow and change and transform yourself in the world. In fact, self transformation is as old as the Pheonix who flew into the Sun. All they had to do was look around to see how nature changed with the cycles of life. Transformation was accepted as part of being alive.

A few days ago, I got together with some friends for an old ritual at Ocean Beach. It was time for letting go and moving on.

Four of us met at the cold windy parking lot of Ocean Beach, each with something that we wanted to let go of in our life. The only rule was that if you were going to show up - you had to participate.

My First DJ Gig!

You may remember a while back, I put up a post about our new turntables.

Well, I knew nothing about DJ-ing at the time. And, in just about 6 months, I'm now a professional DJ *pat on back*.

Yes, I got my first gig. I was nervous like a little school girl. The truth is that I actually don't know anything about DJing, I just like music a lot and I like playing it. I wasn't the best ever, but I had a lot of fun, and everyone seemed to like it. They were dancing and smiling and complimenting me. And, the woman who set it up asked me to do it again sometime. Sweet!

What was the coolest thing though is how I didn't even have to work at it to get a gig. In fact, I didn't even want to do it. But, it fell in my lap.When a friend of a  friend asked for a DJ suggestion, it came around to me.

Continuing to Grow: "Burning Karma"

PickUp Chicks and Find Your Deeper Purpose.

I just started reading David Deida's The Way Of The Superior Man (I'm only on page 20). I hope to put up a full review here at some point.

Anyway, one of his ideas seemed very pertinent to my last post. He talked about it as "burning through karma".

Basically, what he's talking about is moving from one goal to the next in a constant movement toward your life's deepest purpose. However, sometimes we are sidetracked by our "karma" and get caught up in lesser purposes. You may find some parallels in your quest for women.

Are You Playing Games?

What is "Game"? Are you in the game? Is the game playing you?

I met a cute girl recently who took the time to check out my blog. She had some interesting comments to share about her experience with "game", and I wanted to share them with you all. (Remember, this is coming from a woman who has never seen a workshop or never heard about any of this. It's just her experience, being a single woman).

She writes...

One Taste Of The Devine (Video)

Here's the latest video from our Project San Francisco Meetings With Masters series. I was in Australia, so I missed it. But, as soon as I got home, I watched the tapes and it was very cool. These women tell it like it is.

I think a lot of the impact was lost in the tapes, as the best thing these women would do is just be totally blunt (and almost bitchy) and call guys out on their bullshit.

I chose this clip because it was one of the few clips where they were speaking normal talk instead of with their own lingo. Personally, I love words and I love creative use of language, but I also like easy smooth natural communication.

Anyway, they give some blunt advice here about the woman's perspective. In fact, it's advice that we've all heard before, but it's always nice to hear it coming from a woman.

The first part is about persistence. The value of this can't be denied. Women love it when you don't give up.

The second part is about how women like a guy who has other women in his life. So start here and now with whatever woman you talk to next. And, build from there.

Enjoy the clip

Talking With Your Body

I'm supposed to give a talk later today to the Melbourne Lair. They asked me to talk about Body Language - it's the hot topic.

So, what is it about Body Language that seems so powerful, yet so strangly hard to get. Well, for a start, there's the obvious challenge of trying to write or talk about Body Language. It really must be seen and felt to be understood.

And, there's also the fact that Body Language rarely has direct and obvious results. (I've never heard a girl say to a guy "you're body language was just so awesome! I had to date you!") While, on the other hand, I have heard women say "There's just something about the way he walked into the room."

They notice. Women notice your body language. But, they don't know what or why. And, before I started working with our supergirls, I had never heard things like "well, when he moves his shoulders like that, he actually looks sexier."

But, it's true. Women are 100% in tune with your body language. What does your body say? What is it communicating? Is it dripping sexuality? or is it hiding and shrinking away? or is it pretending to be something that it's not?

Although it's a subtle and mysterious art. Everyone can improve. In our workshops, we see instant and dramatic improvement. And, when guys do make changes, all of a sudden there's "just something about them". And, they walk through the world in a new way.

Reality Check - Part One

When's the last time you really took a good look at your life and appreciated how far you've come?

It's been a long time? Well then, you're ready for a Reality Check!

During the last Art of Attraction, I was sitting up in front of the room, talking away like I always do. And, in the middle of my talk, it hit me. Look how far I've come! I go out there every weekend, and I talk to groups of guys as an Authority on women. We pack a room with 40 complete strangers, all waiting to hear me talk. And, I don't even think twice. Not a twinge of fear or anxiety.

What?! Let's take a step back for a second. In fact, let's go all the way back to my first concious attempt at public speaking. Thailand. 2003. One room. Seven Thai students. One observer watching my every move. - It was my first time teaching English.

Long before I got into pickup and meeting women, I knew that I had to change my ways. I knew that I had to step up and shatter my social fears.