Grattitude for My Mentors

Recently, I've had people ask me about my own history and how I got into all of this. I've written many posts along the way, but I've never summarized it all in one place. So, step on the time machine with me as we go back through the last four years of my life. It all started January 2004...

I have always been a huge supporter of the pickup community (even through the many times when my friends may not have agreed). I LOVE the fact that men are helping other men to improve their lives. I LOVE the men's culture and the sheer fact that shy guys, nice guys, awkward guys, and all sorts of men are taking action to go after what they want.

My introduction to it all was a David DeAngelo newsletter (which somehow ended up on my computer). It changed my life. Within 2 months, my entire paradigm on women and dating had done a 180. I saw everything in a completely new way, and I felt liberated to begin making up for a lot of lost time.

I then tried out Ross Jeffries' Speed Seduction and began actually applying the techniques with real women. I creeped out a bunch of those women, and I had fun with some others.  I'm grateful for their patience with me.  It was a huge time of personal transformation, and although I wasn't having sex with any of them, I was really inspired, and my confidence began to improve dramatically.

Then, I found a website called fastseduction.com. This was the next big shift. On this discussion forum, the community put emphasis on: "Field Work, Field Work, Field Work." That is, theory wasn't nearly as important as being in the real world, talking to real women!  Some of the posts from a member named TylerDurden were the most inspiring to actually get me out where the women are.

I started reading through the Maniac_High and Tokyo_PUA archives (as they were living in Japan and I was living in Korea at the time). I plowed through those old posts (many of which were inspired by and extensions of Speed Seduction), and continued to find DRAMATIC improvements in my relating with women, my confidence, and my life in general.

I also continued to skim through posts by Juggler, Gunwitch, TylerDurden, MrNYC4U, Toecutter and some of the other fastseduction posters. ALL of which I loved. I ATE it up.

That discussion board may sound creepy to outsiders of the community, but for me, it gave me a new perspective, solid support, and best of all it was free.

When I started really applying the "Field Work" mentality, I started seeing results.  It should be obvious... the work you do to challenge your comfort zone with real life encounters will be the best learning experiences.

Up to this point, I hadn't had sex in a year and a half.  Then, within 5 weeks I was dating 6 women!

Who's In Your Tribe?

I've always enjoyed taking a look at social dynamics from a tribal point of view. 6.6 Billion People on one planet. One really big tribe?

I walk into a bar. Who are these people? Who are they sitting in their little groups, drinking their spirits, claiming their territory?

Is it a tribal gathering at the local watering hole? In fact, it often seems much different.

I remember when I first stepped foot into a bar, it looked much different. It looked like one big tribe that I wasn't a part of. I saw it as one group of people, and I was outside of it. There were the tribal leaders who looked intimidating, the hot fertile women of the tribe (who also looked intimidating), and a certain culture of the tribe - which I didn't understand.

As I grew more comfortable and really began to look around, I saw it differently again. I began to see a meeting of the tribes. Each tribe stakes territory in one area of the bar. Sometimes a tribe will find out that they know someone from another tribe, and the two will merge together. Sometimes the leader of one tribe will fight the leader of another.

And, then there were the rebels. The ones who look beyond the tribal boundaries and would talk to anyone. Daring and bold, they sought out to merge the tribes (or maybe simply to steal women from the tribe of another)

But, I continued to grow, and I moved past even this. In fact, I ended up in much the same place as where I started. I began to see it once again as a single tribe.

Letting Go - Earth, Air, Fire, Water

Our Ancestors knew what it took to grow and change and transform yourself in the world. In fact, self transformation is as old as the Pheonix who flew into the Sun. All they had to do was look around to see how nature changed with the cycles of life. Transformation was accepted as part of being alive.

A few days ago, I got together with some friends for an old ritual at Ocean Beach. It was time for letting go and moving on.

Four of us met at the cold windy parking lot of Ocean Beach, each with something that we wanted to let go of in our life. The only rule was that if you were going to show up - you had to participate.

My First DJ Gig!

You may remember a while back, I put up a post about our new turntables.

Well, I knew nothing about DJ-ing at the time. And, in just about 6 months, I'm now a professional DJ *pat on back*.

Yes, I got my first gig. I was nervous like a little school girl. The truth is that I actually don't know anything about DJing, I just like music a lot and I like playing it. I wasn't the best ever, but I had a lot of fun, and everyone seemed to like it. They were dancing and smiling and complimenting me. And, the woman who set it up asked me to do it again sometime. Sweet!

What was the coolest thing though is how I didn't even have to work at it to get a gig. In fact, I didn't even want to do it. But, it fell in my lap.When a friend of a  friend asked for a DJ suggestion, it came around to me.

Women Love It! - Read What She Says...

When I went to Australia last year, I met this really cute girl named Hitomi. We hit it off and when I returned to Australia a few months later, she hung out with me and the PickUp 101 crew while we enjoyed Melbourne. I even invited her to our 2 hour intro seminar, and what was really awesome is that she actually learned something from my seminar. It actually helped her build confidence! I thought that was pretty cool, so I asked her to write about her experience to share with all of you.  Hopefully it gives you an example of a woman's perspective on meeting a guy. (English isn't her first language, so I really appreciate that she wrote so much). Enjoy!

"I had a strange experience that I went to the PickUp 101 seminar which was about attracting women with Senior Instructor Daniel Johnson. I met Daniel in Melbourne and I’m going to write my story of meeting him and what I saw at the seminar.

Continuing to Grow: "Burning Karma"

PickUp Chicks and Find Your Deeper Purpose.

I just started reading David Deida's The Way Of The Superior Man (I'm only on page 20). I hope to put up a full review here at some point.

Anyway, one of his ideas seemed very pertinent to my last post. He talked about it as "burning through karma".

Basically, what he's talking about is moving from one goal to the next in a constant movement toward your life's deepest purpose. However, sometimes we are sidetracked by our "karma" and get caught up in lesser purposes. You may find some parallels in your quest for women.

Are You Playing Games?

What is "Game"? Are you in the game? Is the game playing you?

I met a cute girl recently who took the time to check out my blog. She had some interesting comments to share about her experience with "game", and I wanted to share them with you all. (Remember, this is coming from a woman who has never seen a workshop or never heard about any of this. It's just her experience, being a single woman).

She writes...

Tale of Romance - He Said / She Said

Here's a spicy story from last March. Alexandra and I wrote it together about a week after meeting, but I've been waiting to post it. Finally, here it is...

DANIEL:
Ever since Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan, it’s been every man’s dream of finding romance in Seattle (ok, well maybe kinda). But when I signed up to lead the Art of Rapport Workshop there, I certainly hoped to give that fiction tale a run for its money. I aimed to create some non-fiction adventures of my own.

As the workshop approached, everything fell into place. Instructors, Workshop participants, hotel rooms, and yes… Supergirls. There was one girl in particular who was planning to sit through the entire workshop. She was so amazed by what we do and how we do it, that she wanted to actually observe the entire process. When she asked to attend, it sounded cool, so I sent her the info. But soon after our email exchange, I promptly forgot that we’d even invited her.

ALEXANDRA:
Thursday night: I was very stressed. My boyfriend of a year and a half tells me that if I attend the Pickup 101 Art Of Rapport class over the weekend, our relationship is OVER! He was begging me not to go. Strange premonition on his part? It shows - don’t focus on things that you don’t want to happen. But here is the truth. This on and off relationship had been on shaky ground for a long time, and it was time for me to move on. I stood there in front of him and thought about it... pickup class or boyfriend? Without hesitation I said, “Sorry, I have too much of life to live and this is something I can’t miss.” I had helped out at the Seattle Art of Attraction a few months earlier, and my desire to go back for a second time was so strong that nothing could have stopped me. The classes are too cool! No turning back now.

Getting Girls at the Library - Sexy and Smart!

If you like smart ladies, I want to tell you how to master one of the toughest, but most fruitful environments for meeting nerdy girls.  For me, there's nothing quite like the downtown San Francisco Public Library. A three-story building full of brilliantly literate hotties. Well, usually there's only one or two hotties in the whole place, but I'm not trying to be greedy here. And... did I mention? They're probably smart.

So, whenever I find myself in the City Hall area, I stop by the Library, and this day was no different.

I walk in.

1st floor - nothing

2nd floor - hmm.... a couple of 18 yr olds. No, no... too young.

Going up the stairs to floor 3 - yes. There she is.

One Taste Of The Devine (Video)

Here's the latest video from our Project San Francisco Meetings With Masters series. I was in Australia, so I missed it. But, as soon as I got home, I watched the tapes and it was very cool. These women tell it like it is.

I think a lot of the impact was lost in the tapes, as the best thing these women would do is just be totally blunt (and almost bitchy) and call guys out on their bullshit.

I chose this clip because it was one of the few clips where they were speaking normal talk instead of with their own lingo. Personally, I love words and I love creative use of language, but I also like easy smooth natural communication.

Anyway, they give some blunt advice here about the woman's perspective. In fact, it's advice that we've all heard before, but it's always nice to hear it coming from a woman.

The first part is about persistence. The value of this can't be denied. Women love it when you don't give up.

The second part is about how women like a guy who has other women in his life. So start here and now with whatever woman you talk to next. And, build from there.

Enjoy the clip

Talking With Your Body

I'm supposed to give a talk later today to the Melbourne Lair. They asked me to talk about Body Language - it's the hot topic.

So, what is it about Body Language that seems so powerful, yet so strangly hard to get. Well, for a start, there's the obvious challenge of trying to write or talk about Body Language. It really must be seen and felt to be understood.

And, there's also the fact that Body Language rarely has direct and obvious results. (I've never heard a girl say to a guy "you're body language was just so awesome! I had to date you!") While, on the other hand, I have heard women say "There's just something about the way he walked into the room."

They notice. Women notice your body language. But, they don't know what or why. And, before I started working with our supergirls, I had never heard things like "well, when he moves his shoulders like that, he actually looks sexier."

But, it's true. Women are 100% in tune with your body language. What does your body say? What is it communicating? Is it dripping sexuality? or is it hiding and shrinking away? or is it pretending to be something that it's not?

Although it's a subtle and mysterious art. Everyone can improve. In our workshops, we see instant and dramatic improvement. And, when guys do make changes, all of a sudden there's "just something about them". And, they walk through the world in a new way.

Tale Of Travels: Welcome To Melbourne

I just arrived in Melbourne after 36 hours of traveling on bus, airplane, and shuttles. But, just as luck would have it, a cute Japanese girl happened to be on my last shuttle into town. Yes, she was very cute. I was happy.

We talked on the bus, and then I invited her to join me for a cup of coffee before she left for the next town where she was staying. She agreed, so we dropped all our stuff off at my hotel room and then went for a drink.

I got a delicious iced coffee with a scoop of Vanilla gelato mixed dropped in. Yummm!

Then, we took some pictures and played around by the waterfront. She seemed very comfortable with my touch, and being close to me. Then, when I went to hold her hand, she kinda freaked, like it was so un-japanese. But, I just played along and made it a sort of game. Eventually, we were holding hands like boyfriend girlfriend.

Then, we walked to a park and sat in the shade (it's freekin' hot here). We rolled around in the grass and did some acro-yoga. Stretch it out.

Then, I brought her in close and went for a kiss. Again, very un-japanese. She wasn't into it at first, but I insisted on pulling her in close again.

Then, we had the most erotic, playful experience of a first kiss. I put my forehead to hers, then kissed her on the cheek. Then, she kissed me on my mine. Then we rubbed noses, and then foreheads, and kept dancing around each other with our lips almost touching, but never actually kissing. It was hot. A total dance of sexual tension. Then, to finish it off, I went in quick and snuck a kiss, and then pulled way back.

Ohhh... it was getting fun now, because she pounced on top of me and pinned me on my back in the grass. And from that point, I could stare up at her big bright eyes with the leaves of the trees behind her head, and the sun peaking through the leaves just a little. She looked so fuckin' beautiful in that moment. Like a little Japanese angel. And in my contentment with that moment, she leaned in and kissed me too.

I had to stop and tell her how beautiful she looked in that moment. Yeah, I wanted to take a photo or do a painting or something.

We went back to my hotel room and played around a little more before I sent her on her way. She's only in town for a couple days, so I may not see her again. Don't know.

No matter what, it was a great welcome to Australia. And, oh yeah... there were a bunch of way hotties out there walking the streets and catching my eye. This adventure isn't done yet.

Tale Of Connection: Sparkle Hat

Old Friends came crawling out of the woodwork last night, as I spent almost the whole night in conversation with people I randomly knew.

And, then as I was walking out the door and about to head home, I saw a cute Japanese girl with a sparkely hat doing sign language. I had to stop and investigate.

She taught me how to say "Beautiful" in sign language. (But, no she wasn't deaf). It all kept reminding me of the movie Babel (highly recommended).

Later on we were trading war stories, and I was telling her about my skateboarding days where I would fly downhill into cross traffic at over 20+ mph, just hoping that the cars would be timed just right.

She told me about riding a 2 person bicycle in Japan while wearing a school-girl miniskirt. And, she fell off the bike and not only was she bruised and scraped, but her skirt flew up and her panties were showing. Scary and sexy at the same time :)

There's something so great about sharing in near death stupidity.

We exchanged many warm hugs, and I was happy while talking with her. She's been living in the US for a few years, so she's just got the slightest hint of a Japanese accent. Very cute.

I invited her over for dinner next Tuesday, and that makes me happy too.

mmmmmm.... *sigh*

Avoiding Questions and Changing the Subject

What?
You want me to write what?
Anyway, the other day I was riding my bike across San Francisco. You ever notice how the sun just shines so perfectly through the clouds? Just touching the biggest buildings....

Huh?

Oh yeah... ok fine. I'll answer your question.

Changing the subject and avoiding questions. One of the most fun and enjoyable activities (and oh so sneaky...) The master of conversation will no doubt use this skill quite frequently. And as a man, it's your job to direct a conversation. You decide where that river flows, so you're going to have to know how to change it's direction. We're talking about Jedi convo-skills here.

Of course, there's an infinite number of ways to change the subject. Jumping in front of a bus and getting squashed to a pulp would be one way. Or, the old fake injury might get the same results with a little less pain. Faking insanity might work too: "Mommy!!! Why Didn't You Love Me?!!!"

Let's take a look at one particular method which, when executed correctly, will never fail to bring a smile to your face and your inquisitor's. I'm talking about Banter! If you haven't checked it out already, the basics of banter are covered on the Playful Banter CD in PickUp 101's Surefire Attraction Secrets So, assuming you have the foundations down, we'll proceed.

Here's rule one: