Grattitude for My Mentors

Recently, I've had people ask me about my own history and how I got into all of this. I've written many posts along the way, but I've never summarized it all in one place. So, step on the time machine with me as we go back through the last four years of my life. It all started January 2004...

I have always been a huge supporter of the pickup community (even through the many times when my friends may not have agreed). I LOVE the fact that men are helping other men to improve their lives. I LOVE the men's culture and the sheer fact that shy guys, nice guys, awkward guys, and all sorts of men are taking action to go after what they want.

My introduction to it all was a David DeAngelo newsletter (which somehow ended up on my computer). It changed my life. Within 2 months, my entire paradigm on women and dating had done a 180. I saw everything in a completely new way, and I felt liberated to begin making up for a lot of lost time.

I then tried out Ross Jeffries' Speed Seduction and began actually applying the techniques with real women. I creeped out a bunch of those women, and I had fun with some others.  I'm grateful for their patience with me.  It was a huge time of personal transformation, and although I wasn't having sex with any of them, I was really inspired, and my confidence began to improve dramatically.

Then, I found a website called fastseduction.com. This was the next big shift. On this discussion forum, the community put emphasis on: "Field Work, Field Work, Field Work." That is, theory wasn't nearly as important as being in the real world, talking to real women!  Some of the posts from a member named TylerDurden were the most inspiring to actually get me out where the women are.

I started reading through the Maniac_High and Tokyo_PUA archives (as they were living in Japan and I was living in Korea at the time). I plowed through those old posts (many of which were inspired by and extensions of Speed Seduction), and continued to find DRAMATIC improvements in my relating with women, my confidence, and my life in general.

I also continued to skim through posts by Juggler, Gunwitch, TylerDurden, MrNYC4U, Toecutter and some of the other fastseduction posters. ALL of which I loved. I ATE it up.

That discussion board may sound creepy to outsiders of the community, but for me, it gave me a new perspective, solid support, and best of all it was free.

When I started really applying the "Field Work" mentality, I started seeing results.  It should be obvious... the work you do to challenge your comfort zone with real life encounters will be the best learning experiences.

Up to this point, I hadn't had sex in a year and a half.  Then, within 5 weeks I was dating 6 women!

No BS, No lies. (read the archive if you want)

I was blown away! My life was unlike anything I'd ever imagined before. I stepped into a completely different paradigm.  Completely.

Within three months, I was IN LOVE with one of the most amazing women I've ever met. She was a Korean girl and we had an incredible (and steamy) relationship.

At this point I had never even heard of Sensei (or Lance Mason), though he would later have such a great influence on my growth.

I owe a HUGE amount of respect and gratitude to my early teachers, and although I'll freely admit that they are just people too (not gods or gurus like some may claim)... They changed my life, and I'm so incredibly grateful.

Soon, my 6 month love-drunk stint in Korea ended. I broke up with my girls there and returned to America where I was once again - just another face in the crowd. In Korea I had a certain uniqueness (blond hair, blue eyes) which always worked in my favor. This was no more.

As soon as I returned to the US, I knew that I wanted nothing more than to finally find my community that had so far only been internet handles on internet discussion forums.  (I have since been a co-founder of the now-thriving Korea lair, so the beginnings of a Korea community have begun to take root. There was no community there when I started). Now back in the US, those internet names would become real.

My first thought was that I wanted to take an RSD bootcamp with Tyler. I didn't really know much about Mystery back then, as he didn't post much on mASF.  But, I decided to look in the SF area for a teacher first. I found out that Jlaix was teaching here in SF, and Sensei and Wilder too. I joined ebss (the San Francisco lair) and read the reviews. PickUp 101 was getting better reviews than the other workshops at the time, and was cheaper, so I signed up.

The Art of Attraction blew me away. It was a phenomenal workshop and for the first time I had a simple clear model with which to understand everything I had learned so far. Sensei and Wilder were incredible at the bars, and on the streets at night in SF - really mind blowing. They sketched out a new reality for me. I didn't have any idea that such things were possible.

After the workshop, I didn't have any overnight success in the way that I first did when I first started doing approaches, but my belief in what was possible had been transformed.

I had to practice. &%#&!!, did I have to practice!

In SF, I went through a three-month long "drought" with hundreds of approaches, but not a single girl to cuddle with at night.

During that time, I met Jlaix and was instantly impressed. He is one of the funniest people I know and every chance I get to see him speak - I still jump at the opportunity. I really love that guy.

I started reading the Jlaix (Jeffy) archive, because the Sensei archive was nearly non-existent. And Jlaix lived in the city and went to a lot of the same bars as me. I even became friends with Jeffy for a while, as he lived only a few blocks away, and we hung out and did a little crazy partying together. (I think I've still got a picture of me holding his shotgun)

I miss Jeffy sometimes, as I think he brought me a good dose of craziness every once in a while.  Back in the day, he and Lance and William and everyone were much closer friends. In fact, for a long time I really wanted to take a bootcamp with him too, and I'm still sure that he could teach me something (as I'd bet that I could teach him something too). I've only met Tyler a couple times, and it was brief. And, I know Ox supposedly became one of the Real Social Dynamics instructors, and I became friends with him online - a cool cat! 

I happily began aligning with PickUp 101 more as I helped out with Lance's seminars. And, then when I moved into Project San Francisco, I suddenly became all PickUp 101.

It was cool though. I liked it. I learned a lot from Lance, and my skills with women improved dramatically still.  Not just with women, but my social skills and my entire life improved - just ask anyone who knew me back then.

I became an instructor for PickUp 101. And, yes... I wasn't ready. I wasn't the best instructor. I hadn't achieved mastery. BUT, I very quickly found out that I did have something to offer. I did have experience, and with each workshop I taught, I got better and better as a teacher (I apologize to anyone who was at the first workshop I taught at). I still like to think that I get better and better each time I do a workshop. I love teaching this stuff, and I love seeing myself improve.

Over time, I've really grown into it, and now it's not that I have more women in my life... but the QUALITY of the women in my life is something that I could've never imagined. That's when you really hit paydirt, when you start having relationships that feed your soul on the deepest level.

At some point, the book "The Game" came out, and lots of things changed. All of a sudden, gurus were jumping on the scene from every direction. The old secrets that took me so long to find were now becoming commonplace (good for the newbies, but not so good for the long struggle that I had been through. I wish I could've been so lucky.) Material started getting refined as more discussion took place. More naturals started showing up and calling the bluff on old out-dated routines.

Sean Messenger was a huge influence for me at that point, and really showed me how I could live the life I wanted with women without sacrificing one drop of integrity or commitment to my own values and standards in life. I started telling women what I did for a living and started owning the fact that I could be an awesome guy and get women and teach and have it ALL at once.

So, anyway, to finish the story, I recently took AMP, and it was a completely new experience! It blew my mind, too. Decker rocks. I took five more workshops with them since.

My close friend, Hristiyan has changed my view about sex, women and pleasure. And, I love that guy and love hanging out with him. I've learned so much from him.

After hanging out with Grant Adams (Adam Gilad) at Burning Man, I found that he was another great role model. BradP has also had a big influence on me, and every time I see him I turn giddy like a girl while giving him praises. I love that guy too.

OMG! I almost forgot Zan! How could I? Zan kinda reminds me of Hristiyan. Both of them have more than just a way with women... they have a way of life. Just being around them takes you to another level. Big shout out to Zan - I read his archives for years, and when I got to meet him? wow.

And, honestly that's not all... Those are just the teachers I had in dating and meeting women. I've taken live trainings with Wayne Dyer, T. Harv Ecker, Chris Howard, the Monks at Suan Mokkh Temple, and there's been many more influences in my life (can't forget my dad!)

I owe a huge debt of gratitude to anyone who has contributed to this art/science/study of relating to women. And the one's who I haven't mentioned, I'm grateful that they would care enough about other guys to get into this at all.

One thing that really excites me about this community is that almost the same instant a man learns something, he wants to share it with his buddies. That is the kind of camaraderie that has helped so many men so far, and it is the kind of cooperative spirit that will change this world.

I teach for the love of it. I learn for the love of it. There is nothing in my life more important than this, and that is why I've created my entire life around it.

Someday, teachers everywhere will finally get the gratitude and praise they deserve.  Or then again, maybe there's no way to ever repay except to keep paying it forward. So, let's all pay respect, and pay our dues by helping lift other people up to the next level in their life.  After all, we do call it "pick up."