Personally, I always fell on the side of Humility. In fact, in the past, I could easily have been accused of being overly humble (or in other words, a "pussy").And recently, I've actually been surprised to hear how girls think that I "think I'm the shit." Actually, there was one girl in Australia who was actually convinced that I was too arrogant for her. She gave me so much shit and even told me, "You're not as cool as you think you are."
But, what is going on here. Let's take a look.
Recently, I took a look at Donovan's Seduction Chronicles. He did a review for our new product: Physical Confidence. In the review, he refers to me as "underrated."
Of course, I was flattered, and I appreciated Donovan's kind sentiments.
While at the same time, it got me thinking. What does it mean to be "underrated?"
The way that I was raised by my parents, underrated was good. It mean that you undercharge and over-deliver. And that's supposed to be a good thing. I always was happy with the fact that I was really giving people the best value I could give.
But, then I started to realize how very many people there are in the world who overcharge and under-deliver. And, sadly enough... they are the ones making most of the money and getting most of the women. (I'd point out our president Bush as one example.)
So, finally I decided to take a look at all this. What was it that made people want to give them so much money? What was it that made women like them?
Well.. the answer is... Confidence!
Women like confidence. And, not only women; Everyone likes confidence. It's attractive. It makes people want to work for you or stand behind you or even strip naked for you.
So, where's the balance. Confidence is good. Humility is also good. How can we reconcile the differences?
Well, one way is to look at the negative counterpart of each quality. Humility could be mimicked by shyness or withdrawal or even attention seeking through pity or guilt. Confidence can be mimicked by arrogance or dominance.
The important part here is that you notice what side you fall on. For those of us who fall on the side of excessive humility, it's probably because we enjoy hearing things like "you're underrated". It feels good to get compliments, so we hide our true potential in the hopes that we will always be slightly overqualified for what we do. The good feeling of the compliments keeps us driving on.
For those who fall on the side of confidence, the fear of being "overrated" never crosses one's mind. In fact, it's usually built on the fear that actually you may truly be less valuable than people say you are. So, in order to prove your value, you tell anyone and everyone in sight.
Compliments are more rare for those who are overly-confident. But, that is the price you have to pay. Would you rather be complimented by others? or sit comfortably in the knowledge that you are personally doing the best you can? ... This is where confidence comes from. Sometimes if you really go for something, then you will have enemies or critics. But, you'll have to ask yourself, would I rather be loved, or would I rather accomplish what I was born to do?
So where do you fall? And where are you strong?
The fact is that we actually want to be Humble and Confident at the same time. It's not such an easy concept to grasp, but it makes a lot of sense.
And, to get to that place, just check yourself. Where are you hiding insecurities with posturing, and over-confidence, and cockiness? Where are you hiding insecurities with shyness, or self-deprecation, or hiding?
Find those places, and fill them in with true confidence, and true humility. Fill them in with the true knowledge that you are doing the best you can possibly do at all times. That you are born with amazing potential and capabilities and you are here to express them all. AND, that you are still just part of a larger whole, and that there will always be someone out there who is better than you at something.
Take it all in, and adjust accordingly.
For me... well, reading Donovan's article, I'm honored, and I guess I could stand to be more cocky.
So, if you didn't know... I'm the Shit! With a capital "S"... Enough said!
And bottom line, for anyone out there like me: Take a risk and be overly-confident. See what happens. In fact, you wont die. You won't be accused of murder. If anything, people will simply tease you or criticize you. Big deal, huh.
And, if you are out there and you're a cocky asshole. Take a risk and allow yourself to be meek. See what happens. In fact, you wont be shitted on. You wont be forgotten forever. If anything, people will simply ignore you for a little bit. Big deal.
Step up and be the complete, balanced, man that you want to be.
