Letting Go - Earth, Air, Fire, Water

Our Ancestors knew what it took to grow and change and transform yourself in the world. In fact, self transformation is as old as the Pheonix who flew into the Sun. All they had to do was look around to see how nature changed with the cycles of life. Transformation was accepted as part of being alive.

A few days ago, I got together with some friends for an old ritual at Ocean Beach. It was time for letting go and moving on.

Four of us met at the cold windy parking lot of Ocean Beach, each with something that we wanted to let go of in our life. The only rule was that if you were going to show up - you had to participate.


Earth
In preparation we had all written down onto little cards the things that we wanted to let go of. One of the guys even brought a symbol that represented his situation. This was the first step in getting clear in our minds about what we wanted to let go of.

We walked down onto the beach just as the sun was setting. And, there we started a small campfire. There was a restlessness of what would happen next, but there was also a camaraderie growing as we all saw the same things in each others eyes.

Air
Standing by the fire, we all had our turn to speak into the air what it was that we wanted to let go of. One man talked while the others listened. With the words, the feelings were also released into the air - surrounding us all in a cloud of emotion.

Fire
And then, at our own pace, we each dropped our note cards into the fire. We dropped the past into the fire. Letting go. Watching them burn.

As I saw my first notecard, I even felt the fire take over my body. It was like an explosion going up my spine.

Water
One by one our cards were turned to ash. Mine burned last as I stayed by the fire.
But, when the ashes disappeared, it was time for the last step.

We stripped our clothes off and headed for the frosty 55 degree San Francisco Ocean! Yeow!

Feeling the fire, I ran all the way. The tide was out, so it was a long run. And, I didn't stop running until I was submerged under the crashing waves - completely out of breath.

The water cleansed us and brought us back for a new beginning. I even looked up at the moon as I walked out of the water and felt myself refreshed and more alive.

So, you may think I'm crazy. Or, you may be thinking "umm... wasn't this supposed to be dating tips?" Well, yes you're right on both counts.

What does this have to do with you and your dating life? Maybe not much, but it is one example of using intentions to change your life.  Do you want to let go of something?

An obvious thing you may possibly want to let go of is an ex-girlfriend? perhaps?

I can't tell you how many guys I've seen hanging on to a memory of what used to be.

Or, maybe you want to let go of something more subtle. Maybe it's your old self-image - the old guy who couldn't get girls. It's not you anymore!

Or maybe you want to let go of some anger and resentment toward women. Shame or embarrassment? Pain or hurt?

Maybe you finally want to give up that front you've been putting on in an attempt to impress women. Maybe you want to let go of that mask that has actually been holding you back.

Whatever it is, I am sure you can think of something. Maybe it does not have anything to do with women. But, I am here letting you know that I support you in letting go. You don't have to get crazy and run into the ocean naked under the moonlight. That might not be your style. (Although, I'm guessing that if you've read this far, you're probably at least tempted)

However you decide to let go, remember this one thing:

The best part of letting go is that it opens you up to something new. You have to empty out the vessel before you can fill it up again.

Enjoy life.