Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Prince's Rock Hard Guitar Scares The Country

"We respect other opinions, but it takes quite a leap of the imagination to make a controversy of his performance," spokesman Greg Aiello said. "It's a guitar."

Well, the superbowl came and went while I was out teaching Men to flirt like champions. (Shed a tear for me and my sorrows.) But, of course, in the midst of a great atheletic competition, the country asks the big question: How does all this relate to sex?

No titties popping out of dresses? What a disappointment! How am I gonna teach my children that sex is wrong and breasts are to be feared?!

Oh, I know! I'll make fun of Prince's Schlong! Yes, the artist known for such heart warming pieces as "Gett Off." What better example of why sex is a bad idea!

If you missed the halftime show, Prince's phallus was the site to behold as they projected a silhoutte of his guitar against a screen. The actual truth is that no one really cared. (boo hoo). But, in a world full of sexual repression the media will take what it can get.

Here's today's advice. If Prince's guitar scares you, come visit us out here in ol' San Francisco. - Where we actually believe that maybe just kinda sorta IT'S OK TO LIKE SEX!

In fact, I stand before you today, making the bold statement: I Like Janet Jackson's Breasts! (As for Prince's guitar... well... let's just say I enjoyed teaching my workshop over the weekend.)

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