Restructuring The Blog

Here's the deal.  I've written a ton of stuff on this blog.  Some of it has been useful, some of it has been entertaining, and some of it was just me rambling on about all sorts of whatnot.  Well, my plan is to change that, and to clean it up.... stream line it.... make it easier to read, and less cluttered.... leave it here for posterity and accessible as a free resource for others who may be following in my footsteps.

As always, don't forget to leave some footsteps of your own.  Enjoy the posts, but do yourself a favor and take action in your life.  Your life is too short for anything else.

Some Parting Words...

Pickup is really like playing with fire, more than most people will admit. I don't know why, but there's something about the way sexuality fills the deepest holes inside of us that brings a lot of wounded people into relationship with each other. For the most part, it seems that sexual relationship is based on two people selfishly trying to get the other person to agree to give them a pleasurable experience. I'm not saying this as some puritanical judgement. I have no judgement. I'm saying this as someone who has sat hours of meditation feeling the deep pain of some of the people I've hurt during my years in pickup (and the pain I've caused myself). Karma ain't just some cool idea - it's real.

With that said, it should be assumed that pretty much every resource I recommend is sketchy in someway or another. None of them are remotely free from sketchiness. And, as such, they are intimately wrapped up with pain, and suffering. You may find many things in the world of pickup, but you will not find any lasting happiness. You will find new ways of controlling reality to temporarily satisfy your desires.

Ok... I am getting pretty intense, so let me be fair to the other perspective as well. The other perspective is that a big reason a lot of guys get into pickup is exactly because of deeply entrenched beliefs propagated by society about who men are and how they should act. These insane beliefs (basically stemming from the core belief that pickup is somehow "wrong") are an incredible detriment to our society and the individuals within it. In other words, there is a lot of suffering wrapped up in the inappropriate and unhelpful constructs of social rules. If your motivation is to free yourself from hindering beliefs, and find some liberation, there may be value for you here.

There are many paths to choose in life. If the process continues to unfold in a natural, synchronistic, and almost magical way... then thit probably is the path for you... for now. While on the other hand, if it feels forced, or you are being compelled by deep attachments, or you find yourself grasping for control ... then, dude... you may be looking in the wrong place.

So far, I must admit that it seems pretty synchronistic for you, since you were somehow lead into contact with me. Very auspicious. And, also that you came to me at a time when I felt particularly called to offer guidance.

So, that is my disclaimer. It's a long disclaimer, but I wouldn't want to see you wasting your time or your "precious human life" or causing more misery for yourself and others than what is necessary.

Speaking strictly from a PUA perspective, these are the resources I'd recommend:
PickUp 101 - this is where I worked as a coach. Foundational workshops and products that will really drill in the basics of being a naturally cool confident social and sexual man. Looking past the sketchiness, the simple methods of banter, opening, etc... are totally simplified and easy to apply. The instructors are all doing it for the love of the game, and care very much about their students.

David Deida - not a pickup resource, more about understanding women, etc. This is a more spiritually rooted resource that I'd recommend, though he also has his pitfalls for sure. Start with his book: The Way of The Superior Man (if you haven't read it already)

Authentic Man Program - These guys are in San Francisco and they have some good resources for relating to women. Their method of coaching is pretty interesting and often successful, however it involves what seems to be quite a bit of therapy, and most of them are not licensed or trained therapists. So, definitely enter at your own risk.

The online community - there are dozens of different forums, so I will not recommend any one in particular. Community is so important for having support and taking action. It is perhaps more important to have people supporting you than it is to have expert advice. Advice is only as good as it is applied, but support helps you keep going when you make the inevitable mistakes.

One more thing... If you're expecting to get over approach anxiety or fear with women, etc... Let me genuinely suggest the alternative of therapy - from a licensed psychotherapist or psychologist. None of the people I've listed above are qualified to work with you on deep rooted fears and anxieties. In fact, this is exactly what therapy is for. If you feel like you're a crazy fucker who just likes to do stupid shit and face your fears like a hungry bear... then you don't need a workshop or therapy... just go out there and fuckin' tear into it! (but expect to feel the pain too).

Most of all... just like meditation... you will learn TONS more from experience than from any teacher. I like the ratio offered by S.N. Goenka. He gives a 1 hour discourse for about 10 hours of sitting meditation. That's a 1:10 ratio of instruction to practice. I recommend the same for pickup. For every one hour of coaching you get or advice you read, go out and put in at least 10 hours of practice in a social environment. This doesn't mean 10 hours of non-stop approaches on women. Just 10 hours of being in a social environment, being out of your head, talking with people, and being aware of the "social dance." Talking with women about sex and dating is great practice, talking with other men who are good with women is great practice. But... Practice Practice Practice... this is the key to success!

And Now For Something Completely Different

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” - Maria Robinson

"The Chinese have a saying: The best time to stop bein' a dumbass is forty years ago, and the second best time is now." - Jed McKenna

Women kick ass! Let there be no doubt about it.

I love women. And almost as much, I love helping men find success with women in their lives. This blog has been a great opportunity to fuel that mission, but as things change, and life moves forward, I must move forward too. I don't know if I will be back teaching Pick Up again

For now, I'm on to a new adventure. And, for whatever masochistic motivation that inspires me to write about my life, I have started a new blog to share my adventure.

The theme of my new blog: Meditation, Travel, Life. It's my life, my journey, and my favorite new... hobby?... meditation.

Grattitude for My Mentors

Recently, I've had people ask me about my own history and how I got into all of this. I've written many posts along the way, but I've never summarized it all in one place. So, step on the time machine with me as we go back through the last four years of my life. It all started January 2004...

I have always been a huge supporter of the pickup community (even through the many times when my friends may not have agreed). I LOVE the fact that men are helping other men to improve their lives. I LOVE the men's culture and the sheer fact that shy guys, nice guys, awkward guys, and all sorts of men are taking action to go after what they want.

My introduction to it all was a David DeAngelo newsletter (which somehow ended up on my computer). It changed my life. Within 2 months, my entire paradigm on women and dating had done a 180. I saw everything in a completely new way, and I felt liberated to begin making up for a lot of lost time.

I then tried out Ross Jeffries' Speed Seduction and began actually applying the techniques with real women. I creeped out a bunch of those women, and I had fun with some others.  I'm grateful for their patience with me.  It was a huge time of personal transformation, and although I wasn't having sex with any of them, I was really inspired, and my confidence began to improve dramatically.

Then, I found a website called fastseduction.com. This was the next big shift. On this discussion forum, the community put emphasis on: "Field Work, Field Work, Field Work." That is, theory wasn't nearly as important as being in the real world, talking to real women!  Some of the posts from a member named TylerDurden were the most inspiring to actually get me out where the women are.

I started reading through the Maniac_High and Tokyo_PUA archives (as they were living in Japan and I was living in Korea at the time). I plowed through those old posts (many of which were inspired by and extensions of Speed Seduction), and continued to find DRAMATIC improvements in my relating with women, my confidence, and my life in general.

I also continued to skim through posts by Juggler, Gunwitch, TylerDurden, MrNYC4U, Toecutter and some of the other fastseduction posters. ALL of which I loved. I ATE it up.

That discussion board may sound creepy to outsiders of the community, but for me, it gave me a new perspective, solid support, and best of all it was free.

When I started really applying the "Field Work" mentality, I started seeing results.  It should be obvious... the work you do to challenge your comfort zone with real life encounters will be the best learning experiences.

Up to this point, I hadn't had sex in a year and a half.  Then, within 5 weeks I was dating 6 women!

Who's In Your Tribe?

I've always enjoyed taking a look at social dynamics from a tribal point of view. 6.6 Billion People on one planet. One really big tribe?

I walk into a bar. Who are these people? Who are they sitting in their little groups, drinking their spirits, claiming their territory?

Is it a tribal gathering at the local watering hole? In fact, it often seems much different.

I remember when I first stepped foot into a bar, it looked much different. It looked like one big tribe that I wasn't a part of. I saw it as one group of people, and I was outside of it. There were the tribal leaders who looked intimidating, the hot fertile women of the tribe (who also looked intimidating), and a certain culture of the tribe - which I didn't understand.

As I grew more comfortable and really began to look around, I saw it differently again. I began to see a meeting of the tribes. Each tribe stakes territory in one area of the bar. Sometimes a tribe will find out that they know someone from another tribe, and the two will merge together. Sometimes the leader of one tribe will fight the leader of another.

And, then there were the rebels. The ones who look beyond the tribal boundaries and would talk to anyone. Daring and bold, they sought out to merge the tribes (or maybe simply to steal women from the tribe of another)

But, I continued to grow, and I moved past even this. In fact, I ended up in much the same place as where I started. I began to see it once again as a single tribe.

The Host with the Most

I heard one of you out there in cyberspace thought maybe I was dead.

Yeah, it's true, I haven't been posting lately. It's too bad too because I've been up to all sorts of crazy adventures. Perhaps I should get back to it again. I've got some amazing insights to share.

For now, just watch this cool video of me. I loved it when I saw it. They did an awesome job editing it and actually made me look funny. Regis Philbin watch out!

I love you guys!

-Daniel

She's Already Gone...

Talking with a friend recently, he told me about reading "A Book of Five Rings". He said it's written by some samurai who won a whole lot of sword fights or something. It sounds cool. I want to read it. For now, I'll just comment on what my friend told me.

Apparently, this samurai would go into every battle believing "I'm already dead."

Thus, he was completely detached from outcome. Completely unattached to getting anything or winning anything. He knew that death was inevitable eventually, and so he fought with no fear of death.

It reminded me of a poster my step mom has in her kitchen. She hangs it behind her favorite wine glasses, and it reads:
"I know this glass is already broken, so I enjoy it incredibly.'" (an old Buddhist quote)

So, what am I saying? Samurai? Buddhists?

Well, try this out...

"I know this woman is already gone from my life, so I enjoy her incredibly."

I know I'm already dead.

When you meet a woman who turns you on. Feel your desire. Feel the passion. Feel your love for women and especially your love for that special one that really catches your eye. And feel that she is already gone, and you have nothing to hold onto. All you have is the moment.  Enjoy it.

That's what I've been meditating on lately, so I thought I'd share.

The "Wake Up!" of Break Ups

I just came across a question on the PickUp Lounge asking about the best way to break up with a woman. It's a question I've heard a lot, but it also seems to get downplayed. Guys are more preoccupied with getting women in bed, than what to do next.

Here is a summary of my thoughts:

If a relationship is good, then for most people the breakup will be equally painful. As my buddy Hristiyan has put it, "love and pain are inseparable."

You don't need to suffer the emotions, you don't need to be a victim of drama. But, you also don't want to fall into the typically male trap of trying to shut down your emotions and be lifeless inside.  For most people, breaking up will always bring up emotions, some of which you may not want to deal with.

But, perhaps... a breakup is a wonderful opportunity (yes, hear me out)... a wonderful opportunity for both you and her to deal with the reality of life. Part of life is loss and change. Not a moment goes by where we do not face the ever changing nature of life.

If we think of a relationship or a breakup as part of the natural world of change- we could think of it like a hurricane.Emotions swirl like wild winds, while life itself must go on.

Women will naturally have a million emotions come up for them as you are breaking up. At some points they may be furious with you, at some points very seductive, some points almost non-existent and non-communicative, and on and on... They are fully embodying the emotions of the moment. There is nothing wrong with this, and you can appreciate your woman's humanity in this moment.

Letting Go - Earth, Air, Fire, Water

Our Ancestors knew what it took to grow and change and transform yourself in the world. In fact, self transformation is as old as the Pheonix who flew into the Sun. All they had to do was look around to see how nature changed with the cycles of life. Transformation was accepted as part of being alive.

A few days ago, I got together with some friends for an old ritual at Ocean Beach. It was time for letting go and moving on.

Four of us met at the cold windy parking lot of Ocean Beach, each with something that we wanted to let go of in our life. The only rule was that if you were going to show up - you had to participate.

My First DJ Gig!

You may remember a while back, I put up a post about our new turntables.

Well, I knew nothing about DJ-ing at the time. And, in just about 6 months, I'm now a professional DJ *pat on back*.

Yes, I got my first gig. I was nervous like a little school girl. The truth is that I actually don't know anything about DJing, I just like music a lot and I like playing it. I wasn't the best ever, but I had a lot of fun, and everyone seemed to like it. They were dancing and smiling and complimenting me. And, the woman who set it up asked me to do it again sometime. Sweet!

What was the coolest thing though is how I didn't even have to work at it to get a gig. In fact, I didn't even want to do it. But, it fell in my lap.When a friend of a  friend asked for a DJ suggestion, it came around to me.

Women Love It! - Read What She Says...

When I went to Australia last year, I met this really cute girl named Hitomi. We hit it off and when I returned to Australia a few months later, she hung out with me and the PickUp 101 crew while we enjoyed Melbourne. I even invited her to our 2 hour intro seminar, and what was really awesome is that she actually learned something from my seminar. It actually helped her build confidence! I thought that was pretty cool, so I asked her to write about her experience to share with all of you.  Hopefully it gives you an example of a woman's perspective on meeting a guy. (English isn't her first language, so I really appreciate that she wrote so much). Enjoy!

"I had a strange experience that I went to the PickUp 101 seminar which was about attracting women with Senior Instructor Daniel Johnson. I met Daniel in Melbourne and I’m going to write my story of meeting him and what I saw at the seminar.

Continuing to Grow: "Burning Karma"

PickUp Chicks and Find Your Deeper Purpose.

I just started reading David Deida's The Way Of The Superior Man (I'm only on page 20). I hope to put up a full review here at some point.

Anyway, one of his ideas seemed very pertinent to my last post. He talked about it as "burning through karma".

Basically, what he's talking about is moving from one goal to the next in a constant movement toward your life's deepest purpose. However, sometimes we are sidetracked by our "karma" and get caught up in lesser purposes. You may find some parallels in your quest for women.

Are You Playing Games?

What is "Game"? Are you in the game? Is the game playing you?

I met a cute girl recently who took the time to check out my blog. She had some interesting comments to share about her experience with "game", and I wanted to share them with you all. (Remember, this is coming from a woman who has never seen a workshop or never heard about any of this. It's just her experience, being a single woman).

She writes...

Tale of Romance - He Said / She Said

Here's a spicy story from last March. Alexandra and I wrote it together about a week after meeting, but I've been waiting to post it. Finally, here it is...

DANIEL:
Ever since Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan, it’s been every man’s dream of finding romance in Seattle (ok, well maybe kinda). But when I signed up to lead the Art of Rapport Workshop there, I certainly hoped to give that fiction tale a run for its money. I aimed to create some non-fiction adventures of my own.

As the workshop approached, everything fell into place. Instructors, Workshop participants, hotel rooms, and yes… Supergirls. There was one girl in particular who was planning to sit through the entire workshop. She was so amazed by what we do and how we do it, that she wanted to actually observe the entire process. When she asked to attend, it sounded cool, so I sent her the info. But soon after our email exchange, I promptly forgot that we’d even invited her.

ALEXANDRA:
Thursday night: I was very stressed. My boyfriend of a year and a half tells me that if I attend the Pickup 101 Art Of Rapport class over the weekend, our relationship is OVER! He was begging me not to go. Strange premonition on his part? It shows - don’t focus on things that you don’t want to happen. But here is the truth. This on and off relationship had been on shaky ground for a long time, and it was time for me to move on. I stood there in front of him and thought about it... pickup class or boyfriend? Without hesitation I said, “Sorry, I have too much of life to live and this is something I can’t miss.” I had helped out at the Seattle Art of Attraction a few months earlier, and my desire to go back for a second time was so strong that nothing could have stopped me. The classes are too cool! No turning back now.

Getting Girls at the Library - Sexy and Smart!

If you like smart ladies, I want to tell you how to master one of the toughest, but most fruitful environments for meeting nerdy girls.  For me, there's nothing quite like the downtown San Francisco Public Library. A three-story building full of brilliantly literate hotties. Well, usually there's only one or two hotties in the whole place, but I'm not trying to be greedy here. And... did I mention? They're probably smart.

So, whenever I find myself in the City Hall area, I stop by the Library, and this day was no different.

I walk in.

1st floor - nothing

2nd floor - hmm.... a couple of 18 yr olds. No, no... too young.

Going up the stairs to floor 3 - yes. There she is.

Find Your Flow - Skyrocket Your Results!

What if learning skills with women could be easy and fun all the time? What if everyday your game improved in ways that you could hardly even imagine? What if every time you talked to a girl, you absolutely knew that you were doing better than you'd ever done before?

That's the way it should be, right? We all know that we deserve results and we deserve more satisfaction. So, the path to abundance should be an enjoyable one that simply and smoothly Flows.

Lately, one of my housemates is reading the book "Flow." I never have enough time to really read books for myself, but I really enjoy learning the material second hand. Almost everyday he'll read a little of the book and give me an update and his latest learnings. It's great to have friends like that in your life!

So, before I even went out today, I had a really good chat with my housemate about the book. And, I hit some great realizations about how and when my game improves and how it stagnates.

We all know what the flow state is. Those moments in life where time seems to stand still. Results come to you effortlessly and easily. And, you can actually feel that you're in exactly the right place at exactly the right time.

When we're in the flow state, everything works out better. We'll actually see hotter women. The women we talk to will be in better moods and more receptive to us. The women coming into our life will be more open to us, and they will come more often. We may not even know what we're doing to attract them. All we will know is that they are there. And, above all, it feels great!

The Old Dude's Got Game

If you haven't seen it, it's time to take a look around. The old guy with the fine young thing. Or maybe the older woman her young piece of meat. What does age matter, really?

Last night I went out on the town and ended up talking for over an hour with a woman 6 years older than me. She was cute, abs of steel, pretty face. I was all for it. Her friends were teasing her for talking to me (I look young for my age, so I guess they thouhgt it was more like 12 years difference). Fuck it. She didn't care. She told me herself: "age doesn't matter." And, of course, you know she's gonna be.. um... experienced in bed.

But, it's true. How old do you feel in your heart? How old do you act? Our bodies are one thing, but only that. There is much more to a person than his body. And, luckily for men, our bodies are even less important.

So, the night progressed, and eventually I met him. A "natural" if you will. A man who claims he could pickup any girl in the bar, and who prides himself on not wanting the sex. "It's all about playing the game. Not getting laid." For him, I believe it's true.

Are You Afraid Of This?

Have You Given The Dreaded "Creepy Touch?"

If you've even come close, you probably never want to do it again.


Well, I know I'm late on current events, but I saw this photo again recently and knew that I had to comment. This is perhaps the most publicized "creepy touch" in all of history.

Whatever you may think of George Bush, I think there is a lot that we can learn from him (wait, wait... hear me out.) With all of Bush's *cough* shortcomings... somehow he became President of the United States. Wow. 

Humility VS. Confidence

Personally, I always fell on the side of Humility. In fact, in the past, I could easily have been accused of being overly humble (or in other words, a "pussy").

And recently, I've actually been surprised to hear how girls think that I "think I'm the shit." Actually, there was one girl in Australia who was actually convinced that I was too arrogant for her. She gave me so much shit and even told me, "You're not as cool as you think you are."

But, what is going on here. Let's take a look.

Recently, I took a look at Donovan's Seduction Chronicles. He did a review for our new product: Physical Confidence. In the review, he refers to me as "underrated."

Of course, I was flattered, and I appreciated Donovan's kind sentiments.

While at the same time, it got me thinking. What does it mean to be "underrated?"

The way that I was raised by my parents, underrated was good. It mean that you undercharge and over-deliver. And that's supposed to be a good thing. I always was happy with the fact that I was really giving people the best value I could give.

But, then I started to realize how very many people there are in the world who overcharge and under-deliver. And, sadly enough... they are the ones making most of the money and getting most of the women. (I'd point out our president Bush as one example.)

So, finally I decided to take a look at all this. What was it that made people want to give them so much money? What was it that made women like them?

Well.. the answer is... Confidence!

What Would Oprah Do?

"For everyone of us that succeeds, it's because there's somebody there to show you the way out."

Oprah Winfrey - Net worth over $1 Billion.

Ok, you guys are gonna think I've gone super sissy on you now. Time for another one of my little secrets to be revealed: I love Oprah!

If you don't know why, you've probably never really given her a chance. And probably, because there is a scourge of crappy woman talk show hosts on TV. The View. Martha Stewart. Actually... they all suck. They talk about stuff that doesn't matter, they have annoying whiny voices, and they don't do anything useful with themselves. In fact, I'll just throw in the whole majority of mainstream television. I don't have a TV, and if you do, I recommend trashing it:

Most of the crap advice out there makes for worse relationships and often tries to turn men into women. Don't let Rosie O'Donnell cut your balls off - That's all I'm saying.


But, if you tune into Oprah, when she's not talking about beauty tips and Hollywood drama. She's actually got a message.

I remember about 5 years ago when she started something that she called "Lifestyle Makeovers." It was genius. She took a woman's natural desire for something fun and cool: a makeover. And, she turned that desire inward to make a woman really improve herself, and not just her looks. Wow. Revolutionary. In that way, she took something void of content and completely shallow (the makeover) and transformed it into something useful and real. And at the same time she transformed something spacey and weird (self-improvement) And she made it fun.

So what would Oprah do, if she was a hopelessly lonely and frustrated man wanting the cute warm companionship of a woman? She'd sure as hell get off her ass and do something about it.

When you're looking for advice in the world, don't limit yourself. There's no one place to find all your answers in life, but if you find your own heros and learn what you can from them you'll find your path in life opening up before you. Your life will be filled with more purpose and inspiration. Never be too arrogant that you lose track of the positive influences in your life.